You wake up one day age 41. Haven’t had medication a little over 3 years now was in a I thought decent relationship for two of them. Come to find out he had better things and had to move up north, I guess for scenery? I don’t judge people but just like any other human being I have preferences and the older I get the more set in my ways I’ve become. Let’s just say he enjoyed extracurricular things on the TV that I didn’t. Because of his own I guess guilt and shame he took it out on me and our relationship as a whole. Mind you I was single coming up on almost six years before I met him definitely wasn’t planning on getting in a relationship , we just clicked so fast and so well and made it very easy to become best friends. We both came to a decision seems how we’re getting older and I don’t want to work ourselves to the bone in construction AC work. So I had some superb idea of let’s start a domain which turn into a WordPress / browser / blog. It’s going on almost 2 weeks since he’s been gone and it’s all come to a fast abrupt smack in the face truth. All I will go on to say is this sank my heart and it fell to the pit of my stomach. While reading a week old bank statement , same week he left which included a total of 4 lovely payouts within less than 7 days that equaled a little over $4,000. Only one thought came to my head, he’s getting paid for all the freaking stress hard work anxiety lack of sleep lack of food loss in weight and dedication that I have submerged myself into my work. As I sit here in a numb state of frozeness… I am crushed like never before. Slightly pissed off. And the unpleasant overwhelming feeling of loss of my best friend all over again with an added thought of “HOW COULD I BE SO DUMB”. Well I hope he chokes on that money! While I sit here hungry thirsty wishing I had a (BIG BOTTLE OF ANY LIQUOR) . I sit here with the 2 broken busted vehicles he was so nice to leave me as he took the car that actually works…with him and his belongings oh sorry don’t forget my CAT. Assumed he was satisfied with ripping any and everything that meant something to me ,to take on with him. Best part he trashed my beautiful car with work junk… taking me NO LIE 2 full days to clean. As the person I am…let him and even helping load and chain up that working car to watch it also pull away from me. I don’t like getting to this point of my depression…Crazy stupid thoughts start racing. Can anyone someone please explain why a man who knows I have no 1 nor job even a running CAR . Take it with him where he has 2 sisters bunch of family no worries or bills. 3 cars available to borrow. Tons of food. Leave the one woman he claimed to love with A Broken Heart and No means to try to survive? Along with the knowledge of my chemical imbalance. I just need a clue what that answer is?
Till Next Time
Laura
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